So, I'm watching the news the other day and there's a protest going on with people holding signs saying things like "You're Special" and "Your Voice Matters."
Of course, the protest all fell apart when it came upon a group holding signs saying "Let's Make America Great Again" and the hateful rhetoric started flowing, people screaming, swearing, throwing tomatoes and rocks and police got called and it all broke down into utter mayhem.
Eh, the point to all this is how many people say they are tolerant of differing points of view but aren't. I mean, yeah, they want to sound inclusive and helpful but are "they" really all that inclusive?
Can you imagine Rush Limbaugh going on The View. Dang but talk about an intolerant back and forth. Better yet, let's pick someone they really hate like Mr. 47 himself - Donald J. Trump. Could you image the intolerant hash fight between DJT and the broads on The View!?
THAT would be a pay-per-view episode I'd pay to watch!
Anyway, not clear on how to spot intolerance? After some research on the subject, I've discovered a few tell-tale signs someone is being intolerant (even though they scream they are tolerance).
1. People who say "I'm just saying." What we're looking at is a comment meant as a soft jab. Like, "I'm just saying socks with sandals are a bold fashion statement..." which IS a bold statement but, well, maybe s/he needs to consult their mother before going out wearing white socks and black sandals. I'm just saying...
2. People who say "No offense, but..." Yeah, you hear this and the next thing out of their mouths is going to offend you - unless it's a joke, in which case it's probably satire. I'm just saying...
3. People who say "I'm not racist, but..." Turns out, I'm not racist - I hate everyone ... which is something I say a lot but does race always translate to intolerance? Maybe it did 30 years ago (so, anything up through the 1990s) but the only time I see race being an issue is when someone spouts it out when they're losing an argument. I'm just saying...
4. People who say "I don't see color..." Thing is, everyone sees color (unless you're actually color blind) and those that use this are the biggest offenders. I remember one interview I had with the Library of Congress. There where three people interviewing me over the phone (two guys and a lady). The thing with phone interviews is that you can't see anyone so you can't really know who's who or what's what.
Anyway, at one point, the lady says: "I identify as an angry black woman!" which I suspect she meant it as a joke but it didn't come off as such as the two other guys were clearly uncomfortable with the remark. Note: I didn't say that - she did - which, looking back is funny as the term "angry black woman" is rather derogatory and mean and if she's going to go around and saying that about herself, I'd think that's a pretty self-depricating thing to say about yourself. I'm just saying...
5. People who say "I'm just playing devil's advocate" This is actually a fun one and helps with most any situation where a put down is actually helpful, like:
- I'm just playing devil's advocate, but do you think maybe they didn’t invite you because you’re always late?
- I'm just playing devil's advocate here but are we sure this plan isn’t going to backfire?
- I'm just playing devil's advocate, but what if she wasn’t actually trying to be rude?
- I'm just playing devil's advocate here but isn’t it possible he got the promotion because he worked harder?
- I'm just playing devil's advocate, but maybe the issue isn’t with them - maybe it’s how we're handling it.
- I'm just playing devil's advocate but could it be that you're overthinking this?
- I'm just playing devil's advocate here but what if you're the one who misunderstood what was said?
- I'm just playing devil's advocate but what if calories only count if someone sees you eat?
- I'm just playing devil's advocate but sure, let's take life advice from someone who identifies as a traffic cone (or peaked in high school).
- I'm just playing devil's advocate but nothing says 'I care' like a passive-aggressive text two weeks later.
- I'm just playing devil's advocate but if the devil really needed an advocate, shouldn't he get better counsel?
6. People who say "I have a [minority] friend..." You know, I have actually heard this one on more than one occasion. Mostly by white folks who want to say something off but don't want to sound like they came up with it first. It's like if they can make it sound like a black, Mexican, Polish person said it first (or agreed with them), that anything they repeat or say is (or should be) acceptable. Yeah, maybe that's where the Karen thing came from. I'm just saying...
7. People who say "It's just a joke...." When someone says "it's just a joke" after making a remark, they are usually indicating that their statement was not meant to be taken seriously and was intended to be humorous. They might be trying to:
- Lighten the mood or defuse a tense situation, or
- Avoid responsibility for potentially offensive remarks, or
- Establish or reinforce social bonds, or
- Express something indirectly
Problem is that some people don't understand why everyone else is laughing or just want to take offense because that's their thing. Fine, fine, if that's their thing, then probably best not read some of my other blog posts.
Best I can suggest is to keep opinions close to your vest - unless you have blog that laughs at most everyone. In which case, it's open season and best of luck being the last person standing.
I'm just saying...
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