End of Days

Have you ever wondered what things will look like when the world ends?  You know, Armageddon type stuff.   Of course there will the be typical wars, pestilence, cats and dogs living together going on but what I suspect will be the real zinger will be that people will begin filing lawsuits that are so out in left field, not even the pale rider could have foreseen them coming.

The reason I bring this up, and I'm not looking to scare anyone, but the other day we had a lady come into the library seeking to sue Coca-Cola Bottling Company.  OK, I see the smirks...just, give me a sec and let me finish.  Seems her darling, baby boy (turned out he was 24) had been drinking a whole lot of a diet cola product.  Drinking?  No, not drinking - more like chugging can after can of the stuff.  So much chugging was going on that baby boy "burned" his throat.

Wait, "burned" as in 1-3rd degree burn?  Yeah, no.  Of course, this caught my attention and I did a little research on the subject.  According to research conducted by USC Associate Professor of Neurobiology Emily Liman:

The carbon dioxide in fizzy drinks triggers the same pain sensors in the nasal cavity as mustard and horseradish, though at a lower intensity.  Carbonation evokes two distinct sensations.  It makes things sour, and it also makes them burn. We have all felt that noxious tingling sensation when soda goes down your throat too fast.

So, maybe "burn" in the sense that baby boy was injured or scarred wasn't what lady was suggesting.  Nope, it was and she was hot to sue the bejesus out of of the Coca-Cola Bottling Company.

Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I suggest lady take a look at:

• California Forms of Pleading and Practice (Lexis; Vol 32, Chp. 362 (Negligence Infliction of Emotional Distress; Vol. 33, Chp. 380 (Negligence))
• California Practice Guide: Personal Injury (TR)
• California Civil Practice: Torts (TR)
• American Jurisprudence Pleading and Practice Forms Annotated (TR)

and off lady went to find justice for the harm caused to baby boy.

Oh yeah, scary stuff is afoot when people start thinking they've been injured when they haven't.  Scarier is the fact that I know what they can use to sue people who have done them no harm.  It's a dichotomous life law librarians lead.  Good thing they're here for both plaintiffs and defendants.

If you find you're being sued (or want to sue someone), know that your local county law library has just what you need to bring the wrath of god down on your intended victims.