Just another day in paradise

The other day I had someone come into our library and tell me that he thought Librarians (and the Librarian profession as a whole) must be the most boring job on the planet.  Boring, huh?

Fact is, I've see it all (or a whole lot of it) as a law Librarian.  There was the arsonist who was only trying to scare his ex-girlfriend; the bank robber who just needed some extra cash to tie him over until Friday; the domestic violence where she beat him because she thought he was just so cuddly; the double homicide because she didn't know the shotgun was loaded; the drunk driver who thought he should get a pass because he got schnockered on his birthday; the computer hacker because he was only 13; the securities fraud because his wife made all the trades; the adverse possessor because he built a dog house on the property; the guy who thought if he filed bankruptcy he could avoid paying back child support; the couple who incorporated themselves so they could buy illegal fireworks (and avoid prosecution); the tax fraud because she thought she was her own country; and the sex offender because she looked 21.  

Yep, life never gets dull at the law library.  You ever get the hunkering to know what it takes to be a law Librarian, take a look at http://www.bls.gov/ooh/education-training-and-library/librarians.htm or just go talk to your local county law Librarian and be prepared to be amazed!

They're Gunning for You

Many moons ago, I served as a paperboy for a local newspaper.  Every day I would deliver upwards of 75 papers all around my neighborhood.  I did this for a few years and was pretty good.  Heck, dogs feared me, mailboxes revered me, and old folks used to sit around campfires and tell stories about the paperboy with a wicked side arm.  Thing is, I really liked being a paperboy and I got to know a whole lot of people - nice and otherwise.  Which brings me to the point of this posting.

One day as I was out and about doing my paperboy thing, I came upon a group of people.  Seems they were drunk and were walking around the neighborhood shooting things with a .22 caliber rifle.  Soon I became their target of choice. Apparently they thought shooting at the paperboy was riotous fun up - until I got shot - and they scattered.  Yeah, it's always funny until someone gets hurt.

While the perpetrators were caught, plead out and subsequently spent time cooling their heels in jail, it was the person(s) who actually committed the crime who were to blame for my injuries.  Not the guy next door who owns a few guns in a private collection.  Not the manufacturer who makes guns.  Not the random person who roams around a gun show (and maybe buys a gun or two or three or twenty).  Nope, it's the people who roam around drunk, aren't right in the head, are flying high their drug of choice, or who have an axe to grind that go and abuse the rights afforded them under the 2nd Amendment of the U.S. Constitution and shoot up the place.  Those are the people who should be prohibited from owning/purchasing a firearm.

Maybe you want to get smart on all things civil rights and related litigation.  Might I suggest you head over your to local county law library and take a look at California Civil Practice: civil rights litigation (West), Civil Rights Actions (Matthew/Bender), Civil Rights and Civil Liberties Litigation (West), Treatise on Constitutional Law: substance & procedure, 5th ed.

(West), and The Bill of Rights and American Legal History: rights of assembly, petition, arms and just compensation (Garland Publishing).

While I don't own a gun (would probably shoot my eye out if I did), I suspect that if guns were ever taken away from the law abiding citizens, then only the criminals will have them.  Stand back and let your President ram through another executive order without any check or balance limiting your right as a law abiding citizen and you lose yet another freedom afforded We the People of the United States.  Just remember that unlike taxes, once a freedom is taken, it never comes back.  Anyway, my two cents.

Against All Odds

Once upon a time I lived in Havre, Montana (which is about as far north as you can get in Montana).  All along the top of Montana is a two-lane road called Highway 2.  One day, three of my buddies and I were flying along HWY 2 and up ahead we see this prairie dog sitting on its haunches in the middle of the road.  At the behest of my cohorts, I straddled both lanes, increased velocity, and bore down on the poor creature.  For all intents and purposes, that animal should have been road kill.  However, we noted, after passing over the animal at roughly 9,000 mph, that it was still sitting on its haunches in the middle of the road.  Talk about a ballsy rodent!  I bet his friends bet him a million nuts to pull off that stunt!  There couldn't have been more than a centimeter clearance between his head and my muffler and yet, there he sat - a monument to unflappability!

Turns out there are lots of people in the world like that prairie dog - and some of them use our law library on a daily basis.  Some of them are embroiled in criminal actions.  Some are fighting custody battles.  Some are fighting the IRS and then there are some who are fighting civil appellate cases.  The thing that ties them all together is the fact that not a one of them allowed the fact that they don't know anything about law to not try to win their case.  Not a one of them said, "I don't know how to do legal research so I'm not going to try!"  Nope, ALL of these people stood their ground, faced against their adversary and said, "Bring it on!"

Maybe you're like one of those who laugh in the face of staunch adversity.  Maybe you're of those those who, while you don't know anything about law or legal research, you're looking for some direction and are willing to learn.  If so, might I suggest you go to your local county law library and start with Witkin Summary of California Law (West), or Locating the Law (SCALL), or Represent Yourself in Court: how to prepare and try an winning case (Nolo Press), or even Primer on the Analysis and Presentation of Legal Argument (West).

So, next time you find yourself facing incredible opposing odds and you feel the entire world is against you (or out to get you), know that your local county law Librarian has what you need to help you dodge that proverbial bullet.  Yeah, we are that good!

New Years Resolutions

I suspect for every resolution there are 50 people complaining that they didn't keep it.  Last year the only resolution I made was to resolve to eat chocolate every day.  Dang but if everyone made resolutions they could keep, everyone would feel the bliss I feel right now.  Actually, this feeling of bliss got me to thinking about how I can help my readers achieve this degree of bliss and I believe I've found a way.  Following are three easy resolutions you can all use and easily achieve (you can thank me later).

Resolution #1:  Go to the Librarian first.  I've been a "professional" Librarian for 9 years and the one thing that amazes me is how long it take for people to ask the Librarian for help.  They'll come in the front door; I'll ask if they need help; they'll decline, meander around for a while and then, come up and say, "Yes, I do need help."  Save yourself a heap of stress and just walk up to the Librarian as soon as you walk in the front door. We won't bite your head off and you'll be congratulating yourself in no time because of all the time (and headaches) you've saved.

Resolution #2:  Listen and trust the Librarian (we actually do know what we're talking about).  The other day, I had a person come up to me (after they had meandered around the library for 45 minutes).  Right off, this person said they were looking for information on how to incorporate a business.  Quick as a flash, I walked this person over to How to Form Your Own California Corporation (Nolo Press), Fletcher Corporation Forms Annotated (West), and Selecting and Forming Business Entities (CEB).  Apparently, that wasn't what the person wanted.  Nope, after much discussion and a few "false" starts, turns out what was wanted were books on how to sue a corporation...which leads us to Resolution #3.

Resolution #3:  Tell the Librarian what you're looking for the first time.  A game many people like to play with Librarians is to come up with a couple dozen different stories.  Of course each story is only slightly related and all of them leave out, at least, one crucial detail.  Sadly, none of the stories have anything to do with what the person really wants.  I say "sadly" because what happens is that the Librarian is left to running all over the library pulling hundreds of books and spending scads of hours

scouring the Internet or the various legal databases like WestlawNext or HeinOnline.  Why not save everyone a whole lot of grief and just tell your friendly neighbor Librarian what you want the first time.  I realize that this may not be as easy as all that since many people think while they talk.  But, if possible, could you at least try to keep the rabbit hunt to three stories?  Pretty please???

Well, there it is - three reasonably attainable resolutions.  This time next year you can honestly say to anyone in earshot - I made and kept my resolutions this year.  Your significant other will be proud of you.  Stories and songs will be written extolling your virtues.  In the very least, you will have a sincere sense of accomplishment and bliss having finally kept your resolutions.

Word of the Month for January 2013: Unauthorized Practice of Law

One of the problems with being a Law Librarian are some of the restrictions placed on how we do our job.  The one that many people seem to get confused and frustrated with is the fact that while we work in the legal arena, we are not lawyers and cannot provide legal advice.  The proper wording is "unauthorized practice of law."  In California, the law of UPL is governed by California Business and Professions Code section 6126.  We can get you to the book, the website, sometimes even the page on which to find an answer, but we can't tell you what you should do or how to fill out a form. Maybe a couple scenarios can help you understand what I'm talking about.

Let's say life has hit you up side your head a few times and you don't have the cash to pay rent.  Say your landlord (who wants the rent) hands you a three-day notice to pay or quit (i.e. pay or move out).  Say you go to your local county law library looking to avoid being evicted.  Say your local county Law Librarian hands you California Eviction Defense Manual (CEB), California Practice Guide: Landlord Tenant (West) or Every Tenants Legal Guide (Nolo Press).  Then you're local county Law Librarian directs you to the California Judicial Council Forms online and shows you where you can locate a form to answer the three-day notice to pay or quit at which point you ask, "How do I fill out the form?" 

Uh, right...  Remember that little thing called UPL?  That's where this kicks in.  See, your friendly neighborhood county Law Librarian knows a whole lot about all stuff legal - but what we can't do is help you fill out legal forms because filling out legal

forms constitutes legal advice.  Yeah, I know - it can be a real bummer...especially when you're behind the eight-ball and you needed that form filled out yesterday!

Let's try another one.  Say you've been laid off from your job and you've been living on credit card debt for the last 3 years.  Say your bank wants it's money and it sues you for (among other things), breach of contract and money had and received.  Quick as a flash, your local county Law Librarian takes you over to California Forms of Pleading and Practice (Lexis) and (the granddaddy of them all) Handbook on Common Law Pleading by Benjamin Shipman (West).  Of course, you're going to ask, "What do I do now?!"  

Yeah, about that...  Well, pursuant to Section 6126 (which, I suspect, was the result of significant lobbying by the legal industry), that's as far as your local county Law Librarian can go.  I guess the moral to this story is, if moral there be: your local county Law Librarian can show you where to go in and around your local county law library; we can help you locate resources to answer to your most pressing legal questions; we can show you the books you need to use - we just can't tell you what to do with them.  Sorry.