Monday, January 2, 2017

Word of the Month for January 2017: Resolve

Don't boink your students
When is is acceptable to have sex with a minor?  When you're their teacher?  When you're their employer?  A parent?  A priest?  I suspect, the answer is when they're over the age of majority (in which case, they are no longer a minor and the question becomes a moot point).

I bring this up only because I was reading a while back about a teacher who succumbed to the wiles of her 8th grade student via Instagram.  Yep, Alexandria Vega was doing the tube steak tango with a 13-year old student and got caught. Basic facts are student contacts teacher via Instagram and bends her ear.  Eventually teacher relents, love blossoms, teacher gets pregnant and kid's parents couldn't be happier. Happier?  Really?!?  Kid has to deal with child support before he's even out of puberty and the parents are happy? Sad. Really, really sad.

Being a new year, we can fix all this (or at least start to fix things).  Sure, that's what resolutions are for, don't cha know. Of course, this all brings me to our word for the month: RESOLVE.  According to Black's Law Dictionary, RESOLVE means to:
to find an acceptable or even satisfactory way of dealing with (a problem or difficulty). To make a definite decision to (do something); to set one's mind to (a course of action)
So, maybe our first resolution is to NOT have sex with a minor.  Yeah, that's pretty definite. Don't boink students you teach; don't tango with minors who work for you; don't do the choir boy(s); don't make kids with your kid.  Sounds easy enough, right?  Yeah, maybe not since 80% who make resolutions fail to keep them.

How about some resolutions you can (legally) keep:
  • Resolution 1:  Drink more water.  Did you know drinking water helps boost your metabolism (which aids in losing weight)?
  • Resolution 2:  Exercise more.  "Studies" have shown that daily exercise helps you not be fat and lazy or develop diabetes (not that those are related but, well...uh...).  Years ago I joined a club and did the treadmill three times a week. The result was I could move longer and not get tired.  These days, not so much.
  • Resolution 3: Eat less salt.  High salt diets lead to high blood pressure and stress on the heart.  Not good things.  Best, then, to eat less salt.  Not no salt - just less of it.
  • Resolution 4: Donate all your money to your local county law library.  Everyone dies.  Everyone.  Why not annoy the living heck out of your relations and donate all your money to your local county law library?  Yeah - that way, the entire community benefits and your relations finally know what you really think of them.
So, there you go - four resolutions you can resolve to keep. Not very legal and no legal resources but all healthy and beneficial to someone.  Maybe not you, but someone.