Monday, October 5, 2015

Word of the Month for October 2015: Matriculate

Not all lawsuits are winners
A cautionary tale.  Once upon a time a young woman enrolled in college.  She was the first in 5 generations to go to college.  She was very excited.  Her family was very excited.  Her dog was very excited.  Heck, let's just say everyone was very excited young woman was going to college.

Young woman filled out the forms for admittance, picked her classes, bought her books, supplies, new outfits (apparently the right threads help you think harder) and she was ready freddy!  First day of school, she walks on campus and sits in a chair.  Roll is called but for some reason, young woman's name is not called.  Huh, that's strange.  Perplexed young woman seeks out the Provost and demands to know why her name was not called in class (seems her name did not appear on the roll for any of the classes she selected).  Provost looks around and discovers that while young woman filled out the form for admittance, young woman had not paid her tuition.  Oops.

Of course, this all leads us up to our word of the month: MATRICULATE.  According to Black's Law Dictionary, MATRICULATE means to enroll or register (in a university, college, etc).  Apparently, merely buying books and threads does not a student make.  Turns out young woman had applied for student loan(s) and had received monies (initially) meant for college.  Somewhere between home and the registrar's office, young woman spent all the money on a new car because, she reasoned, how else is she going to get to school?  Take the bus?!  Ride a bike?!  Walk?!?  Heaven forbid.  Undaunted, young woman is determined to go to school (and keep her car) so she decides to sue the school and force them to let her attend classes without having to pay for said classes.  Uh, yeah.

As a law Librarian, it's my job to help people find the resources they think they need to get done what they're looking to get done.  Since young woman wasn't in the mood for logic (or reality, for that matter), I guided her over to:
In no time at all, young woman is burning through those resources looking for any angle to get the school to do what she is determined they must.  She doesn't have a chance in Hades of succeeding but, apparently, she has time to burn (what with not going to school and all).

Moral of the story, part 1.  If you must sue someone, don't waste your time online looking for stuff to get done what you're looking to get done.  Get up off your lazy backside and go to your local county law library.  Moral of the story, part 2.  If while explaining your/a potential lawsuit, the law Librarians happen to look at you like you have a third eye, you might want to re-think what you're planning on doing.  I'm just sayin.