Oh the tangled web we weave

In today's news are reports that the International Federation of Association Football (FIFA) is being accused of receiving more than $150 million in bribes.  What is interesting is that the United States is pressing charges against an organization that is largely non-American.  I mean, when you say "football" in the United States, you are speaking about huge brutes that work for maybe 25 minutes a game and make $millions (OK, there was that one woman kicker who got injured during football try-outs but, for the most part, only manly men play football).  When you say "soccer," the body mass index drops exponentially, both men AND women participate, and the people on the field are running all over the place for 90 minutes at a pop.

Anyway, while $150 million may sound like a lot of money, it's nothing compared to how much the World Cup brings in (can you say Billions (that's $billions with a B)).  What I suspect happened is that someone didn't get his/her cut and blew the whistle on their confederates.  Regardless, I'm betting the bribees are looking for some legal help now that the cat's out of the bag.  While I suspect these guys have lawyers on their speed dial, might I suggest they (or anyone charged with federal bribery), take a look at

• United States Code (USC) Title 28 section 224 (Bribery in Sporting Events)
• 49 ALR 2nd 1234 (Bribery in Athletic Contests)
• 12 Am Jur 2d, Bribery, Section 22
• 31A Am Jur 2d, Extortion, Blackmail, and Threats, Section 120
• 10 AmJur Proof of Facts 3d 289 (Pattern of Racketeering Activity under the RICO)
• 8A Federal Procedure Lawyer's Edition, Criminal Procedure, Section 22:250

What is funny/strange is the fact that these guys had the ultimate cushy jobs and then they they went and accepted bribes?  Stupid; very, very stupid.  If ever you find yourself in a similar position (i.e. under the Feds thumb), know that your local county law library has pretty much all what you need to get your defense up and running.