Monday, February 6, 2017

Word of the Month for February 2017: Duty

Tangled websDespite what the POTUS or any economic "experts" may say about the state of the economy, I have discovered a perfect measure for whether the economy is tanking: how far in left field are the civil actions being filed in Superior Court.  That's right; when people start coming up with left field causes of action, I know people are getting desperate and the economy is about to tank.

For instance, the other day I had a guy come into the library. Seems guy had a car that he loved dearly and even named it Becky.  Apparently, days before, guy had washed and waxed Becky and had parked Becky under a neighbor's tree.

When guy came out to retrieve Becky, he found that birds had dropped not a few turd bombs on Becky's newly washed and waxed exterior.  Guy was furious and decided that his best course of action was to sue neighbor for the damage to Becky.  Wait, what?!?  Figuring that he couldn't sue God or the birds for dumping on his car, guy decided to go after a person who had no control over the birds or who/what perched on the tree.  Sure, that makes...uh...absolutely NOT a lick of sense!

According to Black's Law Dictionary, DUTY is defined as:
A legal obligation that is owed or due to another and that needs to be satisfied; that which one is bound to do, and for which somebody else has a corresponding right.  A classical English definition [of duty] from the late nineteenth century holds that, when circumstances place one individual in such a position with regard to another that thinking persons of ordinary sense would recognize the danger of injury to the other if ordinary skill and care were not used, a duty arises to use ordinary skill and care to avoid the injury.
So, let's us examine this situation.  Guy parks a car under a tree which, while located on neighbor's lot, neighbor has no control over birds which may be perched on said tree.  Would any "thinking person of ordinary sense" think that neighbor owes a duty to guy to prevent birds from pooping on guy's car?  I don't either.  Fact is, if you're going to park your car under a tree, you are almost daring birds to target your car.

Of course, guy did not care about what a thinking person of ordinary sense would think - he just wanted revenge against someone for allowing the desecration of his beloved Becky! At about this point, I'm thinking I should be calling my broker demanding he switch my portfolio from bonds to stocks because we're in for a doozy of a recession.  Instead, I suggest guy take a look at:
Yep, when causes of actions start looking like Obama's foreign policy, you know it's time to invest in food storage and potable water because the economy is about to hit rock bottom, and beyond.