Cheeky Quotes

Sunday, April 13, 2014

No good can come of this

He's gonna pay for this forever
A few years back, the Obama administration delivered a new program to "stimulate" the economy.  They called it the Car Allowance Rebate System (aka "cash for clunkers").  Basically, you turn in your old, beat-up, smog spewing vehicle and you get cash or a trade-in on a new, environmentally friendly car.  Sounds great, huh?  Free money for your car?!

Yeah, not so fast, Tex.  Turns out that all those people who turned their clunkers didn't actually get cash - they got vouchers to buy a new vehicle (like an SUV which isn't known for it's fuel efficiency, anyway) and had to pay income tax on their new found funds.  I guess the adage of "no good deed" comes into play, here.

Along the lines of government taking care of the people, you have the current debate of increasing the national minimum wage to $10 an hour.  On it's face, more (free) money is a good thing, right?  I mean, you didn't have to slave for the increase - it's a free gift from the government.  Ronald Regan is credited with saying: "The nine most terrifying words are: I'm from the Government and I'm here to help" which is, sadly, perfect for this situation.

Why should a (free) 24% increase be so terrifying?  Well, first off, companies need to make more than they spend (which is the point of business, after all).  If you pay people more, then companies will be laying off more people to maintain their bottom line.  Wait, what?!  People are going to be laid off work?  If they're not working then they could raise the minimum wage to $100 an hour and they'd never know it (because they're all unemployed)!

Of course, there's the added income tax.  Yeah - you get taxed on all "free" income.  Then there's the cost of living that keeps going up and up (which kinda negates that raise right off the bat).  Of course, we can't forget the claim that a raise for the "poor" will boost the economy.  Yeah, have you ever heard about people who win the lottery?  Most of them are bankrupt inside of a few years because they spend more than they win - which all equates to poor spending habits.  Just because you have more money doesn't mean you know how to spend or keep it.

Enough with the rhetoric - I'm a law Librarian and you didn't come here to hear me pontificate about all things politics.  You came here to read up on legal things.  In this case, labor law things such as:
Yep - if there is any constants in the universe is that if government is behind something, it's going to come back to bite you.  "Buyer beware" has never been so true.  So, next time your "friendly" neighborhood G man comes to your door offering a hand out, run (don't walk) to your local county law Librarian because we're the only ones who are really looking out for your best interests.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Down but not out

Winning isn't everything - until you don'tSo, the other day as I was getting my law Librarian groove on, I had a patron come up to me with a dilemma.  Seems he had filed a lawsuit in Federal District Court, had lost, and was now in the process of appealing that decision.  The problem was that he didn't want to lose again and needed to know what he could do to increase his odds of success.

As it turns out, most law libraries have scads of resources on appealing Federal actions.  As such, I suggested he take a look at:

While your local county law library might not have everything you'll ever need every time, you can be rest assured that if it's legal AND in print AND you need it to help you succeed, your local county law librarian won't rest until s/he finds it.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Everyone talks

Everyone confesses, eventually
One of the things that I had to get used to being a law Librarian was the fact that people often treat me like their priest.  They will often will tell me things that they wouldn't dare tell their beautician.  Everyone has something to say and some weeks it feels like people are competing with each other to come up with the funkiest story.  I recall there was the one guy with the mad cat in a bag scary eyes who confessed to me he had only just killed someone and asked: "What should I do with the gun?"

Before I go on, let me tell you something about my job.  Omnipotent Librarian that I am, I have certain restrictions placed upon me such as I can't give legal advice.  You need to find a legal resource, I'm your man.  You want to know if you have a case or will go to jail?  Go see an attorney.

Now, back to the guy with the gun.  See, notwithstanding my constraints, I was still able to keep my cool and still help him by suggesting he take a look at
and he was able to divine what and how to proceed.

The thing is, like most law Librarians, I know my collection and I know what resources are best used in most any given situation.  So, whether you're staring at 15 years to life or just a small claims action, know that your local county law librarian has the skills you need to help you get you to your zen state.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Part of being human

Stupid is as stupid does
Have you ever wanted to smack your forehead because of something you did (or didn’t do)? Maybe you locked your keys in your car with the car running. Maybe you tattooed the name of your significant other on your arm and then broke up with them. Maybe you responded to an email from Kenya exclaiming, “You May Already Be A millionaire!

Yeah, we’ve all done some nutsy things that makes us moan out loud. Take for instance the guy who was injured a couple years back. A mere day past the limitations period (thus preventing him from recovering damages for his injuries) he came to my library seeking help. Had he only come in when we was initially injured and looked at 

he might not now be singing his own swan song.

Then there was the young lady who, after one year of marriage, wanted a divorce but didn’t want to lose all of her hard won assets in the process. Had she only gone to her local county law library before getting married and looked at 

she would not now be fretting over how to safely hide her wealth from prying eyes and sticky fingers.

What it all comes down to is this: if you want peace of mind, run (as in don’t walk) to the to your local county law Library so that your local county law Librarian can set you on your own path to personal tranquility.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Coming out

mischevious grin
Yeah, it's not what you might think.  See, back when I was in elementary school, I was quite the little hellion.  I remember one episode with my 2nd grade teacher - Mrs. Watermelon (not her real name).  Apparently, it was my fault she had to take an emergency leave of absence a mere two weeks before the summer vacation.  Seems that small animal I put in her coat pocket sent her right over the edge.  I'm actually sitting here writing this with an evil grin as I recall hearing her high-pitched shriek as she sprinted down the hallway with a half-crazed look on her face.  I mean, she took off like a rocket - pretty good for an old lady!  Ah, the memories of youth.

Maybe had I had the benefit of a stint in law school, I would have know better than to drive my teachers (all of them) insane.  Maybe had I realized the damage I was inflicting on poor ol' Mrs. Watermelon I'd have seen the error of my ways and not so purposefully driven her over the proverbial edge.  Maybe had I knows about all the great stuff at my local county law library and take time to look at:
I would have had a greater appreciation of the damage I was inflicting on my teachers every single day of the school year!

While I never had the chance to visit my local county law library about such things when I was a kid, at least you have the benefit of my education and perspective.  Today, right now, in fact, you should run over to your local county law library and read upon on stuff about teachers and education and schools - before someone (like me) gets a hold of your kids and schools them in the fine art of driving their teachers insane...MUUUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAH!