Wednesday, July 23, 2014

They're gonna get you

There's nothing you can do to stop it
Whether or not you believe in a god does not distract from the fact that I suspect there is a higher power that is making fun of people on a daily basis.  I mean, how in blazes can anyone explain the duck-billed platypus and not think someone is having a field day.  Or how about Greek yogurt.  You know - the healthy stuff that's supposed to be good for you and the environment - oh, wait, actually the by product of Greek yogurt is toxic to the environment.  Yeah, in fact, every year thousands of fish are killed off when acid whey is released into streams and lakes.  Yep, someone is sure yucking it up.

Need another example? How about the lengths courts go to convict some people.  Don't get me wrong - I'm all about putting people up to no good in jail but, well, take, for instance, the case of People v. Elder.  Seems Mr. Elder had hidden in a van while husband and wife were shopping. When they returned to the van and started driving away, Elder comes forward and at gun point (later determined to be a BB gun) order the owners to drive.  While driving, Elder smacked husband with the butt of the gun a couple times and robbed them of their cash.  Fast forward, husband slams on his breaks throwing Elder off balance and Elder tries to run. Husband grabs at Elder and, subsequently, husband dislocated his finger when his hand gets tangled in Elder's hoodie.  

Here's the fun part.  At trial, Elder is convicted of two counts of robbery (one count for each person), one count for assault with a deadly weapon and the court added 3 years for "Great Bodily Injury."  What for?  Was it because Elder smacked husband a couple few times in the head with his BB gun?!  No - it's because husband dislocated his finger when he tried to prevent Elder's escape.  Husband is bleeding from the head and they nail Elder because of the finger.  Yep - someone is sure yucking it up.  I mean, husband's bleeding head would have been an easy slam dunk - but because the prosecution didn't bother to bring that up and the court was on a roll, they had to nail Elder somehow - and went with the finger.

Bottom line, if you're going to commit a crime and don't want any sentencing enhancements, make sure you are wearing clothes that don't snag or have holes that people can break a finger when they try to stop you.